For the past few weeks I have done nothing but confirm to my friends’ jokes about having Ikeuchi Aya’s disease in 1 Litre of Tears. I accidentally dropped food all over the floor and my bed while eating lunch with my friends in my room. At dinner in Sofia and Fairuz’s room, I subconsciously dropped chicken bones on Sofia’s lap. Sometimes I find myself blabbering things which I myself cannot understand, and whenever I have to go to the lab to carry out experiments, I stumble on the lab chairs. Even this morning, I indeliberately banged on Sheena's err, baby's shoulder with my classroom door. Heh sorry dude.

Since obviously I don’t have the disease (I don’t ok! Stop asking me to go for a medical checkup la, Lina), I decided that my bodily functions are perfectly normal, but my main problem is that I’m strongly inclined to make a gigantic ass of myself and am now a 1st degree klutz. So stop saying I’m a “1Litre” whenever I have my moronic moments, ok? Thank you very much.

---------------------------------------------

I just gotta say that:

To be totally forward and say back, “Ntah, tak rasa apa-apa pun?” whenever Ainna asks about *subject not prepared for disclosure* - easy.
To ignore the urge to make silly retarded faces to someone – freakin easy.
To persuade myself to not be enthused whenever the Chord Low sound on my phone rings – senang gila lah.
To not be a walking contradiction to everything I’ve said, done and even typed, which then leads me to make shitface drawings on my forehead and also a bigger jackass of myself than I already am – sooo damn bloody hard I swear I’ll give myself a mouthful of fist if I don’t stop contradicting.

Ok lah. I have 2 Bio lab reports, a Chem lab report, a BMS job advertisement assignment and a Statistics presentation to finish. You nincompoops and airheads out there have fun!

I'm out of moolahs.

The Simpsons was OK. If you think that it's not, then you're just a sadistic goon who's too full of your pathetic self. (hah!)
Vacancy was awesome, if you don't judge it by the storyline lah.
Borders was pocket-wrenching. I want all the Zits and Calvin & Hobbes comics!
Kenny Rogers was disappointing. Bad service, bad chicken, little gravy!
Starbucks was oooooh, cravings satisfied with just one sip weiii.
Parmesan Cheese pretzels was damn lah, diet ku terbantut terus.

All we need was just one day, and we broke ourselves short to $0.01
It freaks me out at the fact that we're this rich.

I finished my Personal Statement yo!

After 5 long hours of eye-squinting and finger-tapping on my laptop last night, all I want to say now is that my PS is the crappiest piece of crap I will ever find in Craptown. Period.


p/s: The endorphins and serotonins attacked me again last night. Assbag la. Apa cerita ni wei??

Gendut selamanya

It’s only Wednesday but I’m deadbeat. My latest self-annihilation plan is to starve myself until I’m left with literally nothing but skin and bones. And I’m also back to working out at the gym every Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I think I have quite a high chance to get that I’m-too-skinny-to-fill-in-your-hug physique. Lina said that I look like a cornflake because of my protruding clavicle and nonexistent curves, but hell I don’t care. I even have a good cover-up for not eating, “Puasa sunat bulan Rejab banyak pahala” haha. So go on girls, you’re most welcomed to grill that almost skinny ass of mine on a hot burning stove for being so gedik tak nak makan padahal badan kerempeng macam apek tua.

Speaking of orang-orang berbadan kerempeng,
Ok lah here’s the truth: I did feel something when I knew about it. But I’m not going to fight because at the beginning I just wanted to get some entertainment out of the unbelievably bland routine of books and homework. Plus, I believe that I don’t stand a chance, so I might as well back-off before things take an unexpected turn and I end up swallowing huge amounts of self-esteem pills. It’s not the fact that I’m a sore loser that I gave up the instant I knew about what’s going on, it’s the fact that I’m smart enough to know that all things related to it are just a bunch of hoax because they will only last as long as my hormones are imbalanced. So fuck the endorphins and serotonins for making me a corny-smiling goon during that phase.

Ciau la everyone, I’m off to integrate (ln x)2 dx and later figure out why I had to in the first place when I’m stuck with a fully doodled paper and a tapping pen.

"Come, break me down.
Bury me, bury me.
I am finished with you."


Some people just walk the light.
Shites lah.

The most delicious veggie has withered at 19. Haha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KUCAI ! =P

Today's doodling during PAI class with Lina.

I’m hungry and I want my friends to belanja me good food!
Tapi semua kedekut, especially the hairless one (cuba teka siapa? =P)




Mya (on the left): Laparlah korang!
Danial (on the right): Takde duit!
Lina (bottom right): Alaa..takde food lah Mya. Jom beli Bytes?

Farrael (on the left): Takde soup!
Hairless dude (on the right): Saya kedekut!

Oh, so that's how it's going to be eh? Fine. No more donuts for everyone!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

This is for my lovely donuthead of a roomie:

Pada suatu malAM, saya makan benda masAM, tak nampak kasut si LadAM, tersepak terkena kaktus Lina yang tajAM. Muka saya merah padAM, terus jadi murAM, jadi saya tanAM kaktus dalAM pasu dengan garAM.

Heheh. Payback. =D

Let's talk about yesterday's mood fluctuations, shall we?

Yesterday I felt like wrapping the entire KMB population's necks around a giant noose and hanging them up on a gigantic fan so they can become a huge punching bag. But since I obviously don't have the strength to do so, the whole day yesterday was wasted with my thoughts about blowing everyone's crazy asses all the way to Fucktown, wherever that is. And I knew something was ultimately wrong with the nerves in my sluggish brain because when I bumped into a certain someone at the library, instead of sticking my tongue out to that person like I always do, I gave him one of my infamous sulk.

But yesterday wasn't all frowns and glares, because some people's lunacy managed to get the downwards curve on my lips to turn upside down. Come on, how can you not find 2 boys playing baseball in their boxers, with another 2 of their friends - one being topless and the other hairless (on the head), screaming and laughing like girls derisively hilarious? Kelakar gila wei, sumpah tak tipu.

And so, at the end of the day, I chunked the deuce to everyone with a wide toothy grin, as if to say, "Hey kawan-kawan, apa muram-muram? Muka jangan masam. Nanti cepat malam."

Heh. Peace.

Augusto and Tucker.
I'm sensing a trend here.


And Ainna, thank you for being so revealing with the name in your blog.
Get ready for a payback, you nosy little Bavarian donuthead! =)

Today Big Brother #2 turns 38.
I've decided to reply his email and wish him a happy birthday.
It's time to be mature.
It's time to patch things up.


"Pagi Yang Gelap" by Hujan
bukan maksud ku mendiam
tiada niat menyimpan dendam
hakikatnya rindu yang mendalam

pagi yang gelap
kini sudah terang
aku adikmu dan engkau abang
inginku ulang ke masa dulu

tak akan putus hubungan kita
tarik nafas lega kerna aku tak apa-apa
jalan ini kan membantu
hari esok siapa yang tahu

My previous post about wanting to be nice to everyone during the weekend for the sake of my own bliss is just total bullshit.

No, I didn’t fake an enormous yawn, but my face had a very complicated frown during the wedding because of the humid weather and my parents’ unbelievable senescence. And no, I didn’t give nasty replies to my parents’ and big brother’s silly rhetorical questions because they didn’t ask any of those this time, but I got amazingly irritated by the most general questions like, “Adik, bila nak makan?”, and gave them very sharp retorts without even looking back at their faces. And I swear dad’s humongous-for-no-reason ego and mom’s continuous senility and the constant bickering in the car are my best bet for why my last nerve was plucked riotously.


But please believe me when I say fighting never solves anything.
Because when you sense that holdback of tears in your dad’s suddenly soft and shaken intonation when he asks about when are you coming home while you walk pass him to the front of your college hostel, that’s when you feel like turning back to just a few minutes before so you can swallow back all the mindless things you said.

Too bad there’s no such thing as a time-traveler.

Saya bangga dengan diri saya.

For the past few days, I handed in all my assignments right on time.
1. I sent my 1646-word Business & Management IA essay and my 1426-word Malay World Literature essay on Monday.
2. I completed my Chemistry handout paper, with exceptions to the blank ones that I tried to figure the chemical equations but ended up in vain, by Monday.
3. I did my Biology Plant Science essay that was to be handed on Monday, which most of my classmates did not do. (heheh)
4. I answered all of Monday’s Pure Math Integration exercises, which my math teacher checked on the workings of everyone in the class on Tuesday, except mine.
5. I just gave Ikhwan my Curriculum Vitae to be sent to the Counseling Unit today, and compared to all, this was the hardest assignment to complete.

Bangga sungguh yang teramat sangat.

My parents are coming this weekend to drag me to some “important” relative’s wedding. For the sake of feeling good and staying blissfully positive, I have pledged to be nice to everyone this coming weekend. I will not roll my eyes at the cheesy gestures the bride and groom make, will not deliberately yawn like a hippopotamus while waiting for my parents to congratulate the wedded couple’s parents for the millionth time, and will not give nasty answers when my parents and big brother ask silly rhetorical questions like, “How’s the study coming along?”

And you knowww, I have a very definite reason to continue to corny-smile all week long. =D

Gaaahhh.
You're such a friggin wimp.

Yesterday I rolled my eyes and said, "whatever".
Today I'm back to corny-smiling like an asshead baffoon.
Pathetic.